My daughter just had one of those birthdays that makes me stop and think. She's growing up. Fast.
She's not little anymore. (Just looking back on this and this post will show you a bit of her growth over the past few years.) My relationship with her is changing. She is changing. So am I.
It makes me listen to Landslide.
It reminds me that life marches on no matter what we do with the time we have.
I think it's easy for us SAHMs to get caught up in everyday life. Just making it through the day, doing what needs to be done,
those sorts of things occupy our time. It's good that we take care of the people that we love and the home that we love them in, but sometimes we lose perspective so that we can accomplish the everyday. (And not go buck wild.)
If you've read my book already, you know what I'm talking about. How life can just pass you by whether you are an active
participant or a foot-dragger. Whether you're spinning your wheels or moving forward. One way or another, tomorrow comes and you're either stuck in the same spot or you've taken stock and moved forward. "Children get older. And I'm getting older, too."
As you look on your life, can you see improvement in yourself personally over the past year, or are you as stuck as a fat pig in three feet of snow?
If you are brave enough to raise your hand and say, "Yes, I'm in a rut." Well, thank you for being honest, and lets
see what I can do to help.
1. Have some fun for a change. Being an uptight woman who has every sock in every drawer in perfect order does not make anyone but Martha Stewart throw back her head in delight and snort laugh. I mean, loosen up from time to time. You know that I like to dance along with New Kids on the Block with my kids. Nothing new. Did you know I also tickle my kids, try to make them giggle, and tell knock-knock jokes?
I think there's something about being a enjoyable to be around that helps make everyday life more enjoyable. Dr. Phil would ask you, "How fun are you to live with?" (Why is a middle-aged bald-headed man so right?)
I'm not bald. At least not yet. If you want, you can read more about my strategies to avoid losing your mind at home here.
2. Tap into your husband's ability to see life from a different angle. This is like night vision for you, lady! Seeing things in places you normally cannot. (You can see my other super power wish list here.) Men always see things differently, and I say it's a good thing. If he's not a total boob, and you trust him to be kind and honest with you, ask him for one suggestion that he has that you can do to get out of a rut. (From my experience, husbands love to solve problems.) Your husband knows you and sees your everyday life. Ask for one suggestion. And listen. And give it the 'ol college try. (Is that even a catch phrase? I'm not sure. I may have just made that one up.)
3. Talk to somebody. I think it's perfectly fine to talk to another SAHM who knows what it's like, an older woman that already (successfully) raised her kids, or even a life coach. Sometimes, getting out of your own head and talking things through with someone who doesn't have their own agenda for you is really helpful. I usually think out loud. How about you?
We are all getting older. So are our kids. Let's decide to move forward in our (personal) lives by taking care of ourselves, having fun, and really connecting with our loved ones. Be silly with your kids. Think of Stevie Nicks singing Landslide to you. Enjoy this short time that we have to be home with our kids. It goes by fast, just like my little girl's childhood.
Is there one thing on this short, but do-able list that you can do TODAY to begin moving yourself out of the rut you've found yourself in? (I think there is, my friend - if not, tell me in the comments below what you'd advise your fellow SAHMs to do!)
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