SAHM & Her Man: The Best Marriage Advice I've Got!

Matching shirts? Fabulous!

Did you go to pre-marital counseling or anything like that when you were engaged? My husband and I did, and it was worth it. I learned a lot about him that I wouldn't have known otherwise. This mentoring relationship we had with another older, wiser couple saved me a lot of grief. The following is the best advice given directly to us when we were engaged:

1. Don't go to bed angry. Problems resolved right away are easier to solve than problems kept under the rug for days, weeks, months, or years. This is why people divorce and say, "This has been a long time coming." Know the early warning signs that your relationship may be in trouble and nip them in the bud early. By simply refusing to go to sleep with unresolved issues, you are doing a lot to prevent divorce. Decide ahead of time what the two of you should do if you're both upset and it's getting late. Make it a rule to always forgive each other.
2. Rely only on the husband's income from the beginning so that you have the flexibility to stay home or keep working if/when kids come along.
3. Choose one non-family member to go to if you need to discuss any marital problems. Each spouse gets their own "go-to person" and must also be approved by the spouse. This way, you are not involving any family members in your marital disputes. I.e., your mother will not spit in your husband's coffee at Thanksgiving for forgetting your birthday. Important Note: This "go-to person" must be of the same gender and have no romantic past with either spouse.
4. Appreciate each other. By making his favorite meals or asking (and really listening) about his work or just saying “Thank you for ______!” can go a long way. If you feel comfortable doing so, let your husband know how you feel about being a SAHM. He of all people wants you to be happy at home - look at how hard he works for you! 
5. A man needs respect, a woman needs love. It may sound old school, but it's true. If you aren't feeling loved by your husband, start showing him more respect. This includes going along with his decisions instead of arguing with him, listening to him instead of interrupting him, and praising him in front of others instead of putting him down. From what I hear, men really appreciate this.
   
6. Remember that no one is perfect, and that includes you! Accept each other and be kind. Overlook each other’s faults because of the love you have for each other.
7. Recreate together. Have at least one activity that the two of you enjoy doing. You don't have to go out and get matching outfits for line dancing competitions (unless you're really into that), but do get interested in something to keep your friendship alive.
   

There you have it! These tips have led to 10 years of a progressively wonderful marriage. What tips do you have for SAHMs-to-be? Comment below.