Me in college. I had no idea what I'd be a SAHM ten years later, but riding that bowling ball return still looks like fun.
So, here I have been blogging for some time now, consulting you on how to be a happy Stay at Home Mom, and I have never just sat down and told you the story of why I became a Stay at Home Mom in the first place. Well, that's a nice "howdoyado!" I'm sorry. We are closer than that. I apologize. Here's the story.
I remember the exact moment I decided to be a Stay at Home Mom.
I was a college freshman on a date with my boyfriend (who is now my husband). We were walking down the main street of his college town holding hands after watching a concert at a local bar. And even though we had only been dating a few months, I said (as if it were the most natural thing in the world - not at all creepy or possessive or stalker-ish), "If this thing with us works out, and we have kids, I want to stay at home with them." He said, "I know."
It was that simple.
It's funny because I hadn't realized that I had given quite a bit of thought to being a mother before that statement unexpectedly came out of my mouth. (You know how sometimes you say things that you didn't mean to, but were 100% true? It was one of those situations.) But it had been on my mind since I met my soon-to-be husband.
In fact, about a month after I decided to be a Stay at Home Mom, I decided to switch college majors. Why? Two reasons:
1) I was a pre-med student and after getting my first semester grades, I was shocked to find out that I got a C in Chemistry and a B in Biology! That was unheard of for me because in high school I was one of those nerds that always got straight A's. If I was going to go to medical school, I'd already shot myself in the foot because my grades weren't competitive enough and therefore I didn't have a chance of getting into a top-notch medical school. If Sister Katrina had already whooped my butt in Chemistry 101, how did I realistically stand a chance in med school? (Time to get real.)
2) When I met my husband, I began to reconsider becoming a doctor. I didn't want to be in a position where I might put in all of those hours in school and work and then not be able to have much time for my (future) husband and kids. I thought that it wouldn't make sense for me to go to med school and have a lot of debt to pay off. If I had that "prestigious career" as a doctor, I would never leave it to be home. So, I switched to the more ambiguous Business Administration and Communications degrees. That gave me the non-commitment of a graduate degree in case I wanted to be home with my kids later down the road, and to give me a little "credibility" when I became a personal coach - which was my ultimate goal at the time. (I guess I had my head on straighter than I remember!)
Now 14 years later, I'm home raising our four babies. (I'm living the dream. I know.)
Looking back on that evening I decided to become a SAHM, would I make the same decision again? Knowing that there would be days when I would feel lost, lonely, exhausted, unproductive, and only a shadow of that girl riding a bowling ball return? Yes, I'd do it all over again. In a heartbeat. My kids were just a twinkle in my eye back then, and doing something this big, important, and almost quiet while the rest of the world spins on, is something I've always wanted. Obviously, it was something I had in mind even when I was in college.
Remembering why I decided to stay home is good to think of every now and again. It helps on those hard days. It helps regain perspective on how I got here in the first place.
How did you decide to become a Stay at Home Mom? Was it planned way beforehand, or did you decide after your child was born? Do you remember the moment you knew it was right for you? Comment below and share your story with us!
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